I`m not sure where the misunderstanding began but somehow, we got duped into giving our power and ability to heal what hurts us to those that hurt us. 

It’s like: when I get hurt by someone/something, I feel the solution to not feeling that hurt anymore is that whatever has hurt me must change. The person who hurt me must apologize, make amends, or change their ways. The situation that hurt me must be fixed or changed. 

It makes no logical sense to assign the important title of ‘Head of Healing’, to the person who has just hurt us, and yet this is exactly what we default to. 

If I get a deep cut on my arm, the systems in my body will rush to focus on the site of the injury to provide the healing and care necessary.

Cut on the Hand

Our emotional bodies work the same way. 

When a part of me feels emotionally hurt, the opportunity I have is to turn all of my focus to the part of me that is hurt. I can engage all the tools and resources I have developed in myself till now to bring healing and release the part of me that is in pain. 

A school nurse I explained this to was inspired to create this drawing of her carrying a proverbial emotional tool kit, rushing to heal the place of pain within her.

where does it hurt art work

If I think that someone/something else has the resolution to my pain I will likely put my focus on them instead. And when I do  that it will be like: I am bleeding from the deep cut on my arm and instead of containing ‘my’ bleeding I start focusing on the person that hurt me instead, hoping if I focus on them enough they will help heal my wound. 

The existential reality of life is you don’t have control over anyone but yourselves. Outsourcing the healing of your emotional hurts is like setting yourself and others up for failure. 

No one in the world knows exactly what you need, when you need it, and with which intensity, more than YOU do. This puts YOU in the BEST position to provide the customized care YOU need when you get hurt.

The issue is that most of us don’t have clear guidance on how to work with our emotional pain-body which is why we don’t have enough experiential evidence that there is an option other than depending on others to heal us.

If you get to attend the workshop: Manage Your Emotions Before They Manage You, you’ll learn

Emotional pain is NOT IN THE WAY to your peace and fulfillment, IT IS THE WAY for your freedom, learning, and upliftment.

Pain doesn’t come up so we can identify with it and let it start defining who we are. 

It comes for healing and release.

Pain doesn’t come up so we can let it lead us. 

The most helpful feature of pain is that it is like a screening mechanism like an x-ray or another type of medical scan. 

Pain indicates where the healing is needed and how much of it is needed.

As Viktor Frankl reminded us, we don’t always have control over what happens to us, but we ALWAYS have control over what we CHOOSE TO FEEL about what is happening to us.

This, as Frankl says, is the greatest of all human freedoms.

If you are ready to BE FREE of carrying the hurt and pain that no longer serves you then reach out to me and I’ll help you see what healing would look like specifically for YOU.

PS: New LIMITED TIME offering – 6 (90-min) Private Coaching Sessions for $2,500 in the Getting To Know You Program.

The School for Transformational Healing a 5 session virtual school where personal miracles and freedom are a given.
Private Coaching: one-on-one sessions with me via Zoom or in-person. 
NEW! Getting To Know YOU sessions. 6 sessions to see what working together might feel like without any expectation of anything further.

PLUS, some more ways YOU can learn to experience deep healing and freedom: 
1. Upcoming Self-Paced Courses for $275 each + Private Coaching Session: 
The Unstuckness Workshop
Re-Learn Love 
2. Also – take the Quiz that helps you locate your Personal Barriers to Creating Your Best Life. 
3. COMING SOON! A private community of consistent inspiration, connection, and support.
3. You can read the previous newsletters HERE.