Do you ever feel like you’re shrinking yourself to fit someone else’s fears? This isn’t love—it’s codependency.

The Anatomy of Codependency

At the heart of a codependent relationship lies a silent agreement each person makes: “I’ll limit my own growth to keep the peace.” This pact, fueled by fears of rejection and change, often leads to relationships that may seem perfect on the surface but are silently crumbling.

Ever seen a couple that you think are doing well but suddenly you hear they are getting a divorce?

A common issue in such relationships is that people mistake a compromise with a secret sacrifice.

A true compromise must come through a conversation where both people feel heard.

Anything less than this is a secret sacrifice. It may feel like you are doing the other person a favor, but it’s ultimately going to hurt both people and the relationship.

Be aware that the most common reason for relationships to break is when little things don’t change for a long period of time. The slow and steady decline can feel like death by papercuts.

sad couple

Recognizing the Signs:

  • Using guilt, shame, criticism, and defensiveness for control.
  • Emotional punishments such as silent treatment, love withholding, or withdrawing
  • Both people feel stifled, under appreciated, disrespected, or unfulfilled.
  • Cycles of things getting better for a bit before you go back to the same
  • You survive by ultimately ignoring what hurts due to lack of better alternatives
  • You don’t feel like yourself. You can’t recognize yourself.

Breaking Free From the Cycle

The first step is to acknowledge the issue.

It’s a myth that you both need to agree to change; the commitment of even one person can transform the dynamic.

No matter how competent you are everywhere else in your life, it’s hard to see the label when you’re inside the bottle.

This dynamic requires deep healing guided by a nuanced understanding of the issues involved. Support from someone who knows what they are doing is crucial to help you navigate safely out of the pain cycle.

straight road with trees on both the sides

Empower Yourself Today

It’s hard to change when the way forward isn’t clear enough, and it’s hard to understand what healing would entail and look like.

Most people mistakenly believe the only way to get relief is to end the relationship.

When I was going through this journey I wanted just one person to look me in the eyes and say: I’ve been there. I’ve made it on the other side. I can guide you through this.

One of the reasons I stopped practicing therapy and moved to coaching is because I wanted to give others what I wanted to receive.

So if you are ready to commit to yourself and your healing, I can be that person for you.

Until now the answers I have discovered that actually work were not accessible to most because of financial and time restraints.

To honor my intention to teach the work, that has lead to my own emotional freedom, to those that want it, I’m excited to introduce the Wise Loving Tribe Group Membership. It’s been designed with actionable guidance with stages and milestones to help you track your progress.