As everyone gets ready to celebrate the new year, there are many that are walking into this year with broken hearts. Heartbreak has the ability to suck pleasure out of everything you enjoy. You can’t enjoy the company of people you care about, you can’t get pleasure from activities and things that always got you going and the list goes on.
A lot of you broken hearted maybe feeling the pressure from others or yourself to find someone new and move on. Before you start figuring out how to numb the pain with another romance please take some precaution to ensure you have taken care of yourself. This will allow you to not only pick the kind of person that will make you happy, it will also prevent you from making the mistakes you made in your previous realtionships. Basically, it will allow you to get yourself out of the pain cycle.
There is nothing crueler than breaking a broken heart. Here are some things to keep in mind to avoid heartbreak in the future:
1. Don’t get into a relationship thinking you will change the other person. If you don’t like what you see now, chances are you are going to hate what you see later. Instead look into your need to find people to change.
2. Do some work to figure out who you are and what you want for yourself. Once you have the answer make your decisons according to the direction you have discovered you want to head towards. Read Directions for A Personal Revamp
3. Once you are clear on what you want from life have the grit to protect the values you have created for yourself. Have solid boundaries that allow you to make you staying on your path possible.
4. Forgive yourself. As you let go of what didn’t work for you and adopt what is beneficial, do not be mean to yourself about your choices in the past. Whatever it is that you punish yourself for with guilt and self-hating, know that it was a part of your defense mechanism. It protected you from going in even a worse direction. As you leave this past and move on, kindly put it aside without being cruel.
5. Love and honor yourself to ensure that you will protect yourself from getting into relationships that hurt you or continuing to stay on in relationships you know are hurting you. Love everything about yourself, the good, the bad, the ugly. No self-criticism allowed at all. If you don’t like something, be respectful about it and work to gently change it to your liking, but do it kindly.
6. Don’t ever give up trying for yourself. If you are finding it hard to get over someone know that this is tough stuff. Get help with counseling and therapy. There is nothing more important for your health and wellbeing than to take care of yourself.
7. Know that no matter how deep the pain healing and relief is possible. In fact, people who take their healing seriously come out of it better, smarter, stronger.
Other helpful blogs:
Self-Love: Core of Deep Healing