I stayed because I still loved him.
We had children.
We had history.
There were good memories.
And I thought that meant I had to endure more.
That I couldn’t give up—
even when I could feel he already had.
I told myself that unless it got physically violent or explosive…
then I wasn’t “allowed” to go.
That staying was proof of loyalty.
That leaving would make me the one who gave up.
So I stayed.
I stayed through loneliness, confusion, manipulation, emotional neglect.
I stayed through the slow erasure of my voice.
I stayed even when I was disappearing.
Because I thought:
But I still love him…
How can I leave?
Let me tell you the truth I didn’t have then:
Love and relationship are not the same thing.
You can love someone
and still leave them.
You can honor what was beautiful
without abandoning what is true.
You can carry the love
without carrying the pain.
When I left my marriage, I said this:
“I will always love you. But I can no longer be with you—because you don’t treat the one I love (which is me) in a way that honors me.”
That moment broke something open.
Because I realized it wasn’t about whether I loved him.
It was about whether I loved myself enough.
If you’re in a relationship where the love is still there…
but the pain is louder—
If you keep waiting for it to get “bad enough” to justify leaving—
If you’re convincing yourself that staying is the noble thing to do—
Please hear me:
You don’t have to hate someone to leave.
You just have to stop disappearing in order to stay.
You don’t even have to stop loving them.
You just have to start loving yourself more than the version of you who’s vanishing.
This is the clarity I didn’t have back then.
It’s the clarity I help people find now.
And if this is your moment of I already know—
I made something for you.
👇🏽
🎁 The Sacred Exit Starter Kit
A free guide for when you know it’s time to leave—but still haven’t.
🔔 Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it.
📅 It’s arriving in your inbox next Sunday.
You don’t need another opinion.
You need a way home to yourself.