Most of us were taught to avoid conflict, fix it quickly, or—at best—manage it politely.
But what if conflict wasn’t something to be feared or shut down?
What if it was a call for connection?
đź’” Behind every disagreement is usually this:
“I want to be close to you, but I don’t know how to get there without losing myself.”
For years, I didn’t know this.
I would get into a relationship with all of me—my life, my heart, my soul.
But the moment there was a conflict… everything would crumble.
It felt like the end of the world.
I took everything personally.
My mind would go into overdrive—
catastrophizing, panicking, spiraling.
It wasn’t really about the disagreement.
It was about what I was making it mean about me.
I couldn’t pause.
I didn’t know how to slow down and hear between the lines.
I couldn’t stop my own internal chatter long enough to really listen—
to the other person, or to myself.
And because of that, I couldn’t feel safe in love.
🌿 I also want to say this—
There’s a lot of talk right now about women being “in their masculine energy.”
But here’s the truth:
Women become masculine-urged when they don’t feel emotionally safe.
Not because they’re trying to dominate or control—
but because being soft, receptive, or trusting feels too risky.
Most women, when they feel safe, love to be cherished.
They want to be taken care of, held, honored.
That’s why learning to create emotional safety—internally first—is so important.
It’s how we stop sabotaging the very love we long to receive.
It’s how we learn to honor, maintain, and co-create the kind of relationship we actually want.
👉 I’ll be unpacking this even deeper in next week’s letter—
what masculine and feminine energy really are,
why so many women feel “too masculine,”
and how to rebalance without losing your strength or your softness.
Keep an eye on your inbox đź’Ś
✨ Here’s something to try the next time it feels heated:
Pause.
Ask yourself,
“What am I making this mean about me?”
“What does my heart actually need?”
“If I could speak from love, what would I say?”
That moment of clarity can shift everything.
Follow me on Instagram@sanyabari or tune into the Love Clarity Podcast for real, raw conversations about love, boundaries, and becoming yourself again.